Preggo Update- Like Anyone Wants Another One!

Just a quick update since my last hormonal drama about induction: I decided not to be induced--for now, at least--for a couple of reasons. First, Corey has assured me that he will be fine with school and most of his professors are pretty understanding. Second, after talking to a lot of people, I determined that it would likely be much more difficult to avoid pain meds if I were induced, because most methods bring on hard and strong contractions. I really hope to be able to deliver naturally, but if I don't make it all the way through without meds, at least I am going to try to wait it out and go into labor naturally. I think it is amazing to feel what it is like to go into labor unaided. They wanted to induce me with Zachary right after they turned him from breech to right-side-up, but I talked them into letting me go home and wait for him to come, for which I was very thankful. Another reason I didn't opt for the induction was that I didn't feel quite ready for all of it. It will come soon enough. I don't want to force her out before we're both ready! I also hadn't slept much the night before--what's new, right?

I love this little girl!

I'm feeling pretty good-almost too good for labor to be in the super-near future, possibly. I felt awful for a few days before I had Zachary. But who knows, though? That is the fun thing about babies coming--it is a total surprise when they decide to make their debut! I am so excited to meet her. I am sure there will be many struggles as I become accustomed to my new responsibilities. I am so grateful for my amazing husband who is such a wonderful help to me. I knew he would be a great father, but he has astounded me with his patience, love, and kindness. He is a model father, and I adore him! My children are so lucky to have him as their guide in this life, as am I. I am also so blessed with wonderful family who will be helping me out through this transition. We are so grateful for all your prayers.

On a different note, my sister, Natalie, flew in from Maui the other night--mostly because I was going to be induced last night. I feel bad for stealing she and her son away from her lonely husband when the delivery could still be a ways out, but it has really eased my mind to have someone here for when I go into labor. She is amazing and endured 28 hours of all natural labor with her child, so she will help coach me through and be my doula. Zach is pretty much enamored with her. He says, "I want my Natalie to rock me." : ) Today he also said, "Where is my Natalie?" I answered that she was cleaning in another room. Then he said, "Is she freaking you out?" I had to ask him to repeat himself, because I couldn't believe he had said that. Where did he get that?! I'm sure it has come from my lips, but I can't think of why he would apply it to that particular conversation! He is getting to the point where he expresses his own creative thoughts, and also applies crazy things we say and do to other situations. He cracks me up!

I LOVE this boy!

Also, some sweet women in my church threw me a baby shower last night. It was so much fun!! Baby girl items are just SO CUTE!!!!! I couldn't believe how spoiled I got! This girl is definitely going to be well-dressed, thanks to the generosity of so many people!

Pregnancy Update/Rant : )

Monday I went to the OB for my 38 week check. He did an ultrasound and said the baby was measuring about 7lbs 6oz and I wasn’t dilated at all. So that means that by the time she is born, if the measurements are accurate and she comes on time, she could easily be 1-2 lbs heavier!! While these measurements are just estimates, I tend to believe them because Zach was 8lbs, and subsequent babies are often larger than the first. It scared me a little! On the bright side, the heavier the baby is, the more weight I lose at the time of birth, right?!

Another thing the doctor said was that she has a lot of hair that he can see on the ultrasound. This is crazy to me, because Corey, Zach, and I, as well as all of my siblings and most of his, were mostly bald at birth. I imagine she’ll have dark hair, since I haven’t ever seen or heard of blonde babies being born with lots of hair. I could be totally wrong here, but has anyone else seen a blonde newborn with lots of hair? It seems that she’s got some of her daddy’s hirsute genes! I really expected Zach to have dark hair and eyes, and was sincerely surprised to see my fair, recessive genes win out. So the chances of this one also having my coloring are very slim. (Though I wouldn’t complain a bit if she looked just like Zach!)

On a completely different note, I’m going to discuss some childbirth options we are considering. I realize this is almost as taboo as discussing religion or politics, but I don’t intend to offend anyone. I am a huge proponent of natural childbirth. My feeling is that natural, unmedicated, non-surgical childbirth is the way God intended it, and our ancestors have been doing it fine for thousands of years. It is really something I want to do. To me, it is like a marathon. It takes strength, focus, stamina, and great determination to have a completely natural birth experience when modern medicine has added so many options to speed it up, numb the sensations, and so forth. Some people are interested in running marathons, and others are completely not. I do not have aspirations of ever running a marathon. I really got all the running I wanted in junior high track, thanks! But I really DO want a natural birthing experience. I want my body to go into labor naturally when the baby is ready. I want to use the breathing and relaxation techniques I have learned and practiced to deliver the baby without the aid of medications or anesthetics. I know many women do not feel this way, and that is fine. This is my marathon.

I was extremely disappointed not to have had a more natural experience delivering Zach. Labor started 3 days after his due date. After nearly 12 hours of 5 minute apart contractions, I demanded an epidural, then was bedridden and pumped so full of pitocin and IV fluids that I swelled up like the Pillsbury doughboy! I didn’t feel much, and finally delivered him 24 hours after labor began. It wasn’t a horrible experience, but I certainly wouldn’t call it enjoyable or anything like I had hoped it would be either. I was so swollen and exhausted when he came that I really couldn’t enjoy the moment much. And the next day was even difficult to enjoy as I was numb on one side for another 8 hours or so and sick of being poked, prodded, and having my rest interrupted by the hospital staff.

So here’s my dilemma: Beginning on the baby’s due date, Corey has a test every day for the next 8 days. The best-case scenario for his success at school would be for me to not give birth until after these tests are complete so he has time and energy to study. When she comes, he will just want to snuggle and hold her and help me, as he did when Zach was born. Not to mention, we will both likely be completely exhausted and up all hours those first days and weeks after her birth as she adjusts to life outside the womb. So, once she comes, we can pretty much kiss his scholastics bye-bye for a little while, most likely. I am not sure how understanding his professors will be. If they allow him to take the exams later, it will likely be only a few days later and will require them rewriting the exams for him. I don’t know that a few days will make any difference in his ability to sleep, focus, study, and succeed. It’s not that I doubt his abilities at all—he has done amazingly well in his scholastics thus far. I just think it’s nearly impossible to expect much from anyone with a newborn for a little while. I should add that Corey’s sweet mother will be here to help out four days after the due date, which will obviously be a huge help. My sister is also flying standby when she gets the news, but sometimes it takes days to get a flight out if there’s no prior notice. So we may be on our own for a few days if we don’t make plans otherwise.

On the other hand, he doesn’t have any exams the week before her due date. While I have no control over whether or not she comes very late—I expect she may come a few days after her due date like Zach did, which is right in the middle of the school-stress time—I CAN control whether we want to have her a few days early. That would allow him to have the week before the exams to study like crazy, then I could be induced the Friday before his big exam week (about 4 days before the due date), he could have the weekend to enjoy the baby, help out, and rest, and also we could ensure that my sister would be here to help.

I am SO hesitant to do this, as it will likely remove the possibility of having a natural birth. Most of the medications and methods used to initiate labor cause more intense than normal contractions, making an epidural more necessary. Also, if the inductions methods do not work within a specific timeframe, and the body is not progressing as needed, a C-section becomes eminent. I have heard of it going both ways with people I know. It is rare that people are able to refrain from medications after elective induction. So that’s my conundrum. Do I give up on my marathon hopes and even increase the risk of a surgical birth to facilitate Corey’s school schedule? Or do I risk his standing in school for a natural birth? I should add that one reason this is such a stress for me is that we have some friends that went through the same thing last year—having a baby in the middle of this same intense trimester that coincides with National Boards—and the husband ended up having to drop out of school!!! I don’t really think that is likely with Corey, but it is a slight possibility, and after all the effort and huge financial undertaking we’ve put into chiropractic school, I don’t really want to risk it.

So, if anyone actually got through this long, boring post and has some expert (or non-expert) advice on the subject, feel free to send it my way. Until then, we will see if I am progressing toward labor at all next Monday. If not, induction may be a little too risky. If so, maybe we’ll choose the least-invasive method(s) of induction—which is_______??? Again, advice mothers!! In the meantime, some prayers that she’ll come right at the perfect time—whatever that is—would be sincerely appreciated!

More Answered Prayers

I feel so very blessed today. Having steady, reliable work has been a little bit of a struggle since it seems the bad economy is finally hitting Dallas. We have been praying sincerely that we would be able to still make ends meet with me working as little as possible so Zach doesn't have to spend much time in daycare. Thankfully and miraculously, I have been blessed with enough work to get us by. Especially amazing is the fact that I know God has heard and answered my specific prayers this week. I have been getting very few days of work lately- one to two days per week, and this week I did not receive any calls to work until Thursday, when they asked me to come in Saturday. I have been praying to be able to earn the maximum amount of money in the minimum amount of time so I can spend more time with Zach. Since I am paid on a commission, some days can be very profitable, and others can be almost a waste of my time (although every little bit helps). So today I was able to earn what I normally make in 2-3 days while Corey was able to stay home and spend some fun time with Zach. It was really hard work for me, but much easier to do before the baby comes than after. I have been able to work some Fridays and Saturdays, which has been great because Corey is able to to provide almost all the childcare these days. I am hoping and praying that I will secure a permanent contract that will allow me to work just these days (or just one of them--as long as I can earn enough!) after the baby is born so that I can still provide for our family while Corey is in school and Corey can spend valuable time with our little ones.

Working has been a difficult decision for me, and I still question it at times. I have come to have a strong testimony that mommas need to be with their babies as much as possible, and that there are fewer exceptions to this rule than most of us realize. I am not at all here to judge other moms who work, but for myself, I have learned that I will only work out of absolute necessity for my family's physical needs, and I will not sacrifice their emotional and spiritual needs for my profession. Thankfully, I enjoy what I do, and am blessed to be able to earn enough to provide in just 1-2 days a week. I know many are not that fortunate, and so many wonderful mothers would love to spend more time with their families but are forced to take on a heavy workload. You women have my total support and admiration for faithfully doing what it takes to get by.

I know that if I were not able to give sufficient time to my family, if my job required too many hours, that I would quit working, stay at home with my children, and trust that God would somehow provide. I've seen it happen in many other families when it didn't seem possible. Why don't I do that now? Well, it could still happen, especially after this little one comes. But as I stated earlier, I am so blessed to be able to provide for us on such a few short hours or days per week, that I do not at this time feel justified in receiving handouts from others while I am physically, emotionally, and spiritually able to work this small amount of time. If I were making minimum wage and having to work 40 hours per week, it would be a different story. I know I would be too exhausted to be the mother and wife I need to be, and wouldn't be capable of adequately providing for my family's more important emotional and spiritual needs. And I am happy for some of my tax money to be helping out those who resposibly choose to be home raising their children rather than letting someone else who doesn't care as much raise their children. I know that, when used honestly and properly, our system can truly help those is need, and am grateful to know it is there if I ever need it.

I admire the many women- many in our own family- who sacrifice so much to be home with their children at such great cost. All of my sisters and sisters-in-law are both extremely talented and well-educated, and not one of them chooses to spend their time working (much) outside the home. None of them are extremely well-off financially. They clip coupons, live frugally, and sometimes have the opportunity to use their talents and training to bring in some extra money. I couldn't be prouder of them, or more grateful for their example. They are nurturing and teaching their children. They are allowing their husbands to learn to nurture and provide for their families. It truly is the Lord's way, and their families will reap spiritual and emotional benefits that far outweigh anything that extra money from working would provide.

For a long time, I really thought I was the exception to the Lord's counsel that mothers stay home with their children. Thankfully, I have been blessed to realize that, while higher education and professions are great and can do much good in the world, nothing can compare to the good that needs to be done in your own home. Again, I am not here to chastise or judge anyone. I am just grateful to have learned this lesson as soon as I did. I look forward to the day when Corey will take over the role of provider for this family, and know he will do such an excellent job of it. He is working so hard in school to gain the skills necessary to do so, and the time he spends with us is packed with joy and meaning. His life revolves around little Zachary, and Zach is equally fond of his daddy! I may always do a little dentistry, but if I don't, who cares? My priority is my family and my service to God. Dentistry is just a job. It is enjoyable, and I do love that I can help others with my education and experience, but I hope I will never allow it to fill me with pride or take my focus from where it should be.

Trip to Idaho and Utah for Christmas

Alright, this will be a little random because of the way I downloaded the photos, but here is a quick recap of our recent trip to Idaho and Utah over the Christmas break:

Here I am at about 31 weeks along in my pregnancy. I have stayed about 7 pounds lighter than I was at the same point with Zach, which I am proud of. I didn't know what to expect with him, and just ate whatever and whenever I felt like it. With this pregnancy, I have exercised much more regularly, and haven't given in to every craving that comes my way. I still eat plenty and give in to more treats than I ought, but I am really trying to stay at about a 25 pound gain, which is what the doctor recommends for normal weight women. With Zach I gained closer to 35, and those last 10 pounds took 5 months to get off, which was really discouraging. I still have 6 weeks at this point, and should be about on track if I gain around one pound per week.

 Can you believe we are sisters?! Look how cute Natalie is!

 Here is my first baby shower, which was held at Tessa's on the 18th. 9 of the Malan granddaughters were present that day, and 2 more came to the shower in Idaho. It was so great to see all those sweet girls, and we had such a great time together!

 We had a Nativity pageant at Nick and Meadow's the week before Christmas with the costumes I bought. It was random and fun. The kids had a good time with it.

 Here are the Alexander siblings- what a handsome bunch! Man, I love these guys!

 Nick, Meadow, Natalie, and I had the special treat of attending a session at the Salt Lake Temple together. It was such a wonderful experience.

 Mom treated us to a super-fun night of bowling at BYU, and we snapped this photo afterward.

 Corey and I made it to Rupert to visit our sweet grandmothers. It was so great to see them again.

 After the first week up north, we headed to Idaho Falls to spend the next week with the Wilhelmsen clan. We had a great time together, and had yet another bowling expedition. This time, it was the in-laws against the outlaws. It was a very close game!

 Look at that hottie mom of mine! This is at the shower that Corey's family threw for me on the 29th. It was so much fun! I got spoiled rotten!

 And on the way back to Utah to catch the plane, we were treated to this lovely Idaho sunset.

We loved our time with friends and family. It will likely be quite awhile until we are able to return, but we always look forward to seeing familiar faces and places again!

Our Little Christmas in Big Texas

Since we were spending Christmas in Utah and Idaho with our families, we decided to have our own little Christmas celebration here in Texas before we left, so we didn't have to cart presents across the country, etc. It was tricky to find time to do it since Corey had finals up until a few hours before we left, but it all worked out well. The night before, we read from the scriptures and used our nativity set to act out the Christmas story with Zach. We also sang some Christmas songs with him. 

 The stockings were hung by the chimney with care... (Wondering whose is whose?!)

 I love the look on his face. It is priceless! 8 bucks for Buzz and Woody plush toys was a hit! He has said several times since then, "I love you, Buzz/Woody. Give me a kiss!" So sweet!! I love this kiddo!

This facial expression is also priceless to me, because it is Zach saying, "Needs batteries," and scrunching up his nose at the cheap, lifeless versions of Buzz and Woody we got him. He is fine with them now, but had recently played with the talking, moving versions at the store, so he knew what he was missing!

 We also got him a rolling Toy Story suitcase that came with a pillow and blanket that he loved and put right to use! ("I go sleep.")

(Thanks so much to Nana and Papa for the Christmas dinero and letting us buy the gifts here so we didn't have to pack them!)

 Can you tell how thrilled Corey is to open his giant, hand (or even life)-saving, Christmas surprises?! They will sure give me some peace of mind, though! (He is actually using them as I am posting this blog. I want to be taking a nap while Zach is also napping, but am afraid to leave him alone while working on the car again!)

 What can I say, other than "Like father, like son," right? Zach adores this new truck that comes with tools he can use to remove and replace the tires. I might need to get him some mini-tire chocks and jack stands so he learns how to do it safely from a young age!

 It was a fun and memorable little Christmas to share as a family.

Bones of Steel?

I suppose I am still a little in shock from it all, but here is the short version, and I'll follow up with all the details:

Yesterday afternoon while Corey was changing our brake pads, the car rolled forward, the jack slipped out, and Corey's left hand was pinned under the left front wheel. And he is alright. His hand seems fine, except for some surface scrapes and a lot of soreness. There may be some small fractures, but so far, nothing serious. Neither of us have any idea how his bones and flesh were not completely crushed under the weight of the car. It doesn't make any sense at all to two of us that have several semesters of Physics training. But we are grateful beyond words or comprehension that our prayers were heard and answered during those scary minutes of helplessness.

So here is the long version:

Yesterday afternoon, after a week of pre-final exams, Corey decided to take a study break with Zach, and they both headed outside to our driveway and alleyway with their tool boxes to change the brake pads on Corey's Accord, which Corey has done a dozen times. I didn't feel great about him having Zach out there while working, but Zach loves to "fick" things with Daddy, and Corey had only been able to spend an hour or two with Zach all week due to his rigorous study schedule. I stayed inside to take a shower, but got caught up in some computer activities, which was very, very lucky (and every time I say "lucky," I don't meet lucky. I mean divinely inspired, blessed, etc.). Fifteen minutes into it, I heard Corey yell, so I got up to see what was going on. I got outside to see Zach crying hard and Corey pinned under the left front wheel with the entire car tilting onto his left hand. Corey was amazingly calm for the amount of pain I knew he had to be in. I think I would have been screaming and crying. Of course, the first thing I did when I saw the situation was offer a silent plea for help to my Heavenly Father that everything would be alright.

My first thought was that I had to lift the weight of the car off my husband. I had no idea how much of him was being crushed, but I knew it was serious. I've heard the stories of the adrenaline rush of emergency situations giving people super-human strength to do things such as lifting cars off of people (in fact, Corey's grandfather had such an experience which saved the lives of several family members, which you can read about here.), and thought maybe I could do it. So I leaned my nearly-7-month-pregnant mega-muscles into the left front bumper and lifted with all my might a couple of times, which, as you can probably imagine, did absolutely nothing. How disappointing that I am such a weakling!

My next thought was that I had to get ahold of our home teacher, who is a hugely buff Dallas Cowboys football player that doesn't live too far away. But alas, I did not have his number saved in my phone (which I quickly remedied after the incident! Lesson learned: keep your home teachers and a buff body builder on your speed dial!!) Corey told me to get help, but I had no idea whom to call for. Our two next door neighbors are small, single women who are rarely home and probably weaker than I, and I don't know any of our other neighbors and didn't want to waste time pounding down doors. So I ran in the house and called 911 and explained the situation, and the dispatch was made.

This whole time, Zach was extremely traumatized and screaming and crying while I was trying to figure out with Corey what to do. What happened was that our driveway has a very slight incline, and while the driver's side front tire had been jacked up and tire removed, the car had started to shift forward after Corey put some pressure on a bolt. Corey quickly pushed Zach out of the way so the car wouldn't fall on him, and the jack slipped out, pinning Corey's entire hand under the rotor and wheel base. He didn't have his phone with him, and was out there alone with Zach in the alley and the door to the house was shut so that Zach couldn't have gotten in. Even after the fire truck and paramedics came, not one neighbor came out to see what was going on, which makes me think no one was home, (because no one is un-curious enough to not see why an ambulance is in back of their homes, right?) so they wouldn't have heard any cries for help either. If I hadn't been exactly where I was at that time, it could have been quite awhile before Corey got any help, and Zach could have wandered down the alley or in front of a car, or anything, Corey could have passed out, etc. It is just amazing to me still that things worked out the way they did. The situation and outcome could have been so very, very much worse.

Corey, with his clear presence of mind, told me to lower the jack and put it under the car. But I had no idea how the jack worked, and the frame of the car was so very close to the ground that neither of us thought that it could get small enough to fit under the frame. All I could think of was that the car had to be lifted or pried off my husband's hand, which extremity we desperately needed in his chosen profession of chiropractics. I wanted the strength to lift the car. I wanted the wisdom to know how to properly use Corey's tools to elevate the car. But neither came to me at this time. I quickly searched through the house and garage for something strong enough to use as a lever, and only found some weird hunting stand. After the fact, Corey thought this was hilarious and laughed hysterically at me, but it made perfect sense to me at the time.

He was surprisingly calm enough to walk me through the steps of putting the jack and wrench, which were both out of his reach, back together. Thankfully, it was just small enough to fit back under the car, and I used my feminine buffness to raise the car back off of his hand until he could slip it back out. I expected a bloody, crushed, massacred mess--maybe even a stump, because what bones are strong enough to withstand thousands of pounds of metallic force for 5 minutes straight? But there were just a few abraded scrapes. No bones popping out or digits hanging off. It was extremely sore, and took a few minutes until he could really bend all his fingers well. After we were sure nothing was seriously wrong, I called 911 back and told them we no longer needed their assistance. We have crummy insurance, and I didn't want to pay hundreds of dollars for a pat on the back. We were going to take him to the doctor if we felt he needed it. But they said they'd already been dispatched, and since the fire department is only about 1 mile away, we could already hear them coming.

When they arrived, we explained the situation. They carefully examined Corey's hand and encouraged us to still have an xray and exam, warning us that it would probably swell up very badly and he would be in severe pain before long. They had recently had another similar situation, and informed us it did not turn out well. Corey and I were both feeling like watching and waiting was the best thing to do, so we declined any medical treatment. The kind officers did, however, offer to replace the tire--and at no charge! When the fire truck arrived, our crying Zach went up and gave one of the firemen a big hug, which helped console himself. Poor thing! He really was terrified! Afterwards, we put Corey on the couch with an ice pack and Zach made sure he was right there to help with "Daddy's owie."

The firefighters replacing the tire

These marks and a really sore shoulder were my only evidences of trying to help!

Zack offering Corey an ice pack

After the ordeal, we offered a prayer of thanksgiving and gratitude and wonder that things did not turn out any worse, and that Corey's hand was spared. I firmly believe that there was something or someone else holding the weight of that car off of Corey's hand. There is no way that a car can fall on a hand at a sharp edge with such momentum and have the mild result we experienced. Every day I pray for the safety and health of our family members. I sometimes worry about it being a "vain repetition" in my prayers, but I always mean it with the full force of my being, and I know Heavenly Father has heard and answered this prayer on many occasions for members of my entire family. I am so very grateful for the knowledge that the power of prayer is real. This experience has strengthened my faith. I know Heavenly Father watches out for each of us, especially when we are asking for Him to do so.

Happy 2nd Birthday to Zachary!!

I know this sounds cliche, but I can't believe my baby is turning 2 today! Zachary has brought more joy into our lives than we ever thought imaginable.

I was on my way to Kiddie Kandids the other day to get his birthday pictures taken, and decided to stop and take a few of my own. These ones turned out pretty well, so we did not end up going to Kiddie Kandids. Now I just have to get some prints made (hopefully before his next birthday!).

 Here he is at playgroup last week. He adored this Woody costume, and was so cute in it!

 I know it is hard to see, but Zach thinks he is pretty cool here because he has a toothpick in his mouth like his dad.

This is the day he was born. It is hard to believe how tiny he was!

 Here he is at 3 months.

 6 months

 1 year

 18 months

We look forward to all the many Happy Birthdays to come with this precious boy!

Time for Another Haircut

I really have no problem with Zach's curly, golden locks. But Corey gets really irritated when people mistake our beautiful boy for a girl, and decided it was time for another trim. It has been about 6 months since his last haircut, and when it wasn't neatly combed, it would get a little scraggly looking. So I decided to take matters into my own hands (I don't really trust men with scissors. They may do OK with clippers, but very few have the finesse it takes to not turn longer hair into a train wreck!) So I cut off about 1.5-2 inches. it was a little more than I had planned to. I wanted to leave it a little long so that it would have enough room to curl well still. I didn't want it to be a mullet either. But I kind of hacked it, I admit. Maybe I should've taken a picture of the job I did, but I didn't want there to be any evidence of either my poor barbering skills or Zach's semi-bad haircut, so I refrained.

 After a couple of days of being strangely reminded of "Dumb and Dumber," I decided to trim the sides a bit more, and it looks a lot better. It still isn't perfect, maybe, but it's pretty darn cute. I love the heck outta this kid! He's fun to play with and fun to just look at! I am really hoping all the cute curls will be passed along in the gene pool to his baby sister, but we'll just have to see!

 And here is my preggo belly at about 24 weeks. I hardly have any photos of my pregnancy with Zach, so I am chronicling this one a little better, just for kicks. I was surprised to read that I weigh about 4 pounds less at this point in this pregnancy than I did with Zach, which is so weird to me, because I feel a lot bigger. Probably because I have been gorging myself with Halloween candy! But I have been exercising a lot more now than I ever did during my first pregnancy.

Just a little over 3 months to go!

And, speaking of haircuts, I got one today, and Corey is up next. Hopefully we'll be getting some family photos taken before long...