Would-Be Due Date

Today was the due date for the baby we lost to miscarriage at 11 weeks last August. We have been trying unsuccessfully since that time to have another child. I though for sure we would be expecting again by now. It is hard to understand why we are given certain trials with our limited, mortal perspectives. I keep wondering why Heavenly Father is not a little quicker about answering this righteous desire of our hearts to bring more precious babies into this family. I think many in this situation wonder what the reasoning is- are we not ready or worthy yet? Do I need to perfect my parenting skills before I will be given another child?

 I know part of this is a lesson to me on patience, and in releasing the control I would like to have in many situations. I am doing my best to trust in His perfect plan and His perfect timing. I know, without a doubt, that I will one day look back and realize why we had this struggle and how it helped us learn and grow and be refined. Thus far, I know it has really made me appreciate my two babies, and realize what a miracle it is every time a conception occurs. It sometimes seems like an easy scientific experiment to follow the recipe for  creating a child. If you have the correct ingredients and timing, it should just happen, right?! Not so. It testifies that there is indeed a breath of the divine in the process. If it were all science, we should have a little better results by now. I know that it will happen when the timing is right- not necessarily by my standards, but by His who knows me better than I know myself. In the meantime, I am cherishing the sweet angels the Lord has blessed us with and trying to live worthy of the bounteous blessings I already enjoy, as well as those for which I long.